Sporntaneity

Forever grateful, for all that I find,  some-days I rhyme in anger, other days I find reason, after giving some time. Alone we are in this journey, all of us, fighting our own wars. Lucky the ones among us who find, someone to call their own. Someone to make memories of time with Whatever god you may believe in, loves you or if you chose not to believe in a god at all. There is something divine about our will. We may never decipher it. That isn't our purpose. But to act through this divinity and let the divine act through us  is all. We can only give, solve, love and laugh. May we be reminded,  of this light inside of us, for whenever it gets dark. -Gratitude. Christmas Eve, London 2018

I don't want to say another word. Just to make you stick around. I don't want to listen to you talking. I don't mind listening to you speak. I don't want to make you uncomfortable nor do I want to help your comfort. Why do you make an 'I' out of me? why can't I be nothing, as I usually am? If we felt special together, if we do use each others time, each others lives, Can't you just let me be ? As I love to let you be. Why are you so scared ? That you need to hold on. and do things. Let go, try, have faith. The magic is in the unknown. in letting go. You won't be able to love, until you want, need & hold on. Why don't you love, my love ?

Aren't all our problems, not real ? Doesn't all the trouble,  stem from not being able to  deal with our sadness ? Don't we do everything, just to make the sadness go away ? And then when it's walked to the corner, don't we do everything we can to get it back ? All our problems come from not understanding , accepting, loving our sadness. We fill silence with words. We fill our loneliness with forced company. We hold back tears, just to keep the smiles going. Go where ? Why aren't we happy just being, right where we are? Don't we know already, that we might never reach anywhere, ever ? All our problems, aren't problems. Our sadness is all we've got. -9th Dec 2017, 1 AM

We all have our ways  to keep our sadness at bay. Some run, some jump. Some laugh it off. Some eat and grow fat  and then they eat some more and then they get more sad. Some don't eat at all, until they're fed. If we could just look, into each others eyes, and wait. Wait, untill there's nothing left  to be said. and then wait some more. Until our eyes have done the talking. We would smile then. As our silence will be heard, and our sadness would have spoken. - At the beach, Dubai, Oct 2017.

How badly I miss, looking into someones eyes.  How I miss that glance.  Waiting to meet someone the next day, just to check if she was feeling the same.  Wondering anxiously yet in a pleasant way if she were thinking of you too.  Besides creating things, the only pleasure I find is in experiences. Experiencing connections, listening to stories, communicating sans words, walking under sunlight filtered through dancing leaves, the silence of a cold lonely night, hearing the sea throwing itself on rocks being teased by another distant rock reflecting wondrous milky shiny light, hearing strings vibrate to weave colors behind my closed eyes, making someone smile when I journey to the center of their lonely lovable hearts, seeking things way out of my reach only to find them right at my side, fighting for love and loving to fight, trying to hold on to the fleeting & delicious taste of a memory, the sad activity of failing to remember what I'd want to ...

I saw you. I saw you like I'd see anything or anyone else. But then I waited. I paused to really see you. See through you probably. And right before you took your eyes away, at that moment, I really saw you, I saw what you wanted, I saw what you craved for. I could never explain what it was. But I saw your eyes and they told me something I bet you didn't know you were saying. They told me what you want, but you never tell. Silence does speak. Time, when we leave it to itself, does things you and I would want to but never can. Think about it. Let it stay and settle. It'll probably go away. Or it will stay. It's fun to wait and watch That way we don't pluck out the flowers we find beautiful. We let them stay and bloom. And we watch time. Without really knowing What it's doing. To us.